Heidel in da House

So, this past weekend we celebrated our anniversary. We actually have two anniversary dates, as we had two ceremonies (on at the end of September and another at the end of October). Due to this fact, we generally celebrate the entire month of October as our anniversary. I am one of those rare women who cannot tell you either of the dates without looking them up, so lucky hubby only has to remember a month. Well, Friday night we saw Bobbie McDuffie perform Vivaldi’s Four Seasons along with the American Four Seasons/Violin Concerto No. 2 by Philip Glass, a piece written specifically for Bobbie. My niece attends McDuffie’s school for strings in Georgia, and he was so gracious to us after the concert. Amazing, amazing, amazing. http://americanfourseasons.com/

On Saturday, we headed to the Heidel House Resort on Green Lake to enjoy a lodging/dinner/breakfast package. Very highly recommend this place. The décor is nice, beautiful setting on the lake surrounded by trees, excellent food…and only 1 ½ hours from home. Perfect for a quick getaway (their motto used to be “Run away and Heidel”). We packed evening clothes – a long gown for me and snazzy suit for hubby – and were ready to launch full-bore into the festivities.

It was Oktoberfest weekend at the resort, and we laughed, enjoyed polka music, watched the Klement’s sausage team race (go Chorizo!) and we drank fresh beer from a Madison brewery. The beer was unfiltered, tasty, rich, and…made us sick. So, just a few hours into our getaway we were in our room incapacitated. I’ll spare the details, but suffice it to say we never made it to dinner.

The next morning, feeling a bit better, we had a great buffet breakfast and pondered the schedule for the day. It was pouring rain outside so we forewent the hike through the woods, and decided to just head home. Were we down about the fact that our plans had crashed? Surprisingly, no! We both had had so much fun in the few hours prior to illness, and enjoyed just being together without the distractions of home and work, that we still considered the weekend a success.

It occurred to me that sometimes we set ourselves up by having expectations. It would have been easy to have high expectations of a fancy dinner and romantic weekend, which would have been dashed by our illness.  Instead, we just wanted some time together in a fun setting, so we were OK when things went a little south.  In general, I have found that expectations make you more unhappy than happy. If you don’t have expectations, you don’t have disappointment. Now, sometimes simple expectations are fine. At work, I expect that the receptionist will let me know when someone calls for me. On the highway, I expect that drivers will stay in their lanes (but I don’t always trust that they will---another matter). But when it comes to matters of the heart, family, friends and the like, expectations tend to open the door to bitterness or resentment. Hey, we’re all pretty flawed human beings, so we really shouldn’t expect too much from one another. Let’s cut each other some slack! Enjoy time together without thinking that it should be…fill in the blank. This week I encouage you to have fun, stop worrying about the past/future/what-ifs, and just be together in this messy stew we call life. 

Life is a matter of passing the time enjoyably. There may be other things in life, but I've been too busy passing my time enjoyably to think very deeply about them.      - Peter Cook, English comedian

Antsy Pantsy

OK, why is it that we humans love drama so much?  Even those of us who purport to hate drama in fact look for it anyway.  Case in point: I was out of work from January through August, finally found a job that I really like and look forward to each day, everything is peachy, so of course I'm thinking, "Hey, wouldn't now be a good time to move to New Zealand?"  Um, wait, what?

You see, hubbie visited N-Zed (zed is New Zealandese for Z) some years ago and wants to move there at some point.  It comes up in conversation every so often.  But, with his plays, movies, etc. and my ever-unhappy job situations there was never time to consider it for realz.  So, now that things are moving along swimmingly, we both like our jobs, his recently produced play was a hit...NOW is the time to shake it all up?!  I'm crazy.

Those of you who know me understand that I've had my share of ups and even more downs.  Struggled just to keep it all going through the storm.  Wasn't peace the goal?  Doesn't peace mean lack of stress?  Isn't moving across the world a little stressful, girl?!

Well, sure.  But now that things are going well, I find myself with the mental space and freedom to let myself dream a little bit.  I always wanted to be a National Geographic-type adventurer, seeing new places and exotic peoples.  Exploring new landscapes, climbing hills and running through dales...it is easy to forego those thoughts when you're just trying to pay the bills.  It's really easy to become myopic and see nothing but the next paycheck, leaves in the gutters, dirty laundry, family commitments, and all that jazz.  I'd like to just cut those earthly strings for a moment and be the intrepid adventurer.  I mean, LOOK at this photo!  We could have a city apartment and a cabin in the wild with a cute little goat and vineyards and an olive tree and clear blue streams everywhere and mountains and...and...and...

Well, it's OK to dream and remind ourselves of how we saw the world as children.  One big adventure, which it truly is.  As we grow up we tend to appreciate safety more, I guess.  "Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore." -- Andre Gidde (Nobel laureate) 

It takes courage to be an adventurer, and safety can't be assured once you embark on a journey.  But maybe by surrounding ourselves with people who make us feel safe, we can regain that sense of adventure.  So this week give yourself permission to dream a bit, as if you were still a child, and share what you discover.  Also, remember what George Eliot said, "It is never too late to be what you might have been."

Be it!

Skillz dat thrillz

'Ever notice how easy it is to be surprised that you actually know something that not everyone else knows?  Like, for example, I always assume that EVERYONE knows that California will not slide into the ocean, but rather will travel north to Alaska..(go north, the rush is on).  Or that resumes don't require complete sentences, but rather bullet points.

I bring up this second point because in my new capacity as Director of Career Services (duhn duhn DUHN) I have occasion to review resumes on a regular basis.  This job is very good at helping me realize that we all need a little help assessing ourselves.  Now, I know, before you say it, that I've already covered this topic.  But this is different, I swear!  Well, sort of different.  This is not just about being honest with ourselves, but more about seeing ourselves in a different light.

Enter young woman, recent high school graduate, who wants to apply for a job as receptionist at a chiropractic clinic.  She's just 18, uncertain of herself, going into massage therapy and hoping to help people.  After a few meetings, she produces her draft resume and we sit down to polish it.  Mostly she has experience in fast food and retail, but not too bad for her age.  She lists her skills as being friendly and accurate.  At the bottom of her resume she lists "other activities."  Me: "Oh, I see you have some high school clubs listed...German Club, Spanish Club, Sign Language Club." Student: "Oh, yes.  Sign language is my first language as my mom is an interpreter.  I am fluent in German and speak a little Spanish."  Ok.  "WHY ARE THESE NOT AT THE TOP OF YOUR SKILLS LIST?" I scream, nicely.  It had never occurred to her that things she took for granted were unusual, desirable, and could very well make the difference between an employer hiring her or someone else.

So again, the question...why don't we see these things about ourselves?  I'm always amazed when someone I know points out how great it is that I know something, when it is something I just know so therefore don't value.  Wait, what?  Why should I not value what I know?  It's in my brain, after all.  Why don't I value what skills/knowledge/quirks that I have? Why do I hide my light under a bushel? A bushel of apples?! (I like apples)

I found a great quote, even though it comes from a dubious source.  (Hey, I'll take a tiny piece of wisdom from a giant pile of hooey over just a pile of fluff any day.)  Harry Palmer is a Scientologist, so I will say no more on that account, but this quote is still worthwhile..."You are much deeper, much broader, much brighter than any idea you could have of yourself." 

I'm giving a new assignment.  This week, ask someone you trust to tell you one thing about yourself that they find unique.  Something that makes you YOU, something that your friends and colleagues value.  Doesn't have to be mind-blowingly amazing stuff.  Anything that makes us unique is important, and we should be aware of it!  Celebrate it! Share it here!  I'll do the same, and maybe after this week we can all eat a giant apple pie and put away the bushel for good.

Packers and pumpkins

Sunday is the best.  This is the one day of the week wherein my husband and I can actually rest and relax.  As many of you know, hubby dear is involved with a number of entertainment projects.  Said projects involve him meeting with his co-creators and minions several nights a week.  Along with my new job, which requires regular evening hours and attending events, we have a hectic schedule.  Don't get me wrong.  Our life is terrific.  But restful?  Not often!

This is why Sunday is so nice.  We sleep late.  We have a huge, diet-blowing breakfast with bacon, eggs, buttered English muffins, cinnamon rolls, coffee, and the Sunday paper.  (We like to get our saturated fat requirements out of the way for the week.)  And now, it is PACKER SEASON!  A time where we feel we are actually doing our patriotic duty as Wisconsinites by sitting on our tushes and just watching a game.  We can shout and cheer and sip beer and shake our fists.  Today the game was especially ugly. 

At halftime we strolled a half-block to the farm stand to pick up some decorations for our house.  The stand is staffed during the summer, but in the fall the farmer just puts his wares on a big wagon.  A rusted tackle box with a slit cut in the top, bolted to the wagon, serves as cashier.  We pick out our pumpkins, some gourds, and a hay bale and haul them back to the house.

Sunday is also the day where we prepare for the week.  We might take some time to chop vegetables for quick dinners, make lunches, finish up laundry, and make any shopping lists or notes.  It is our time to simply enjoy time together and be in our lives without a lot of activity. We often will even take a nap. 

I know people, friends of mine, who have great difficulty resting.  They feel that they must be constantly working. But if we're working all the time on our own agendas, what might we be missing?  What gifts are being offered that we are blind to?  Like today, when hubby was chuckling at the squirrel who was walking down the middle of the sidewalk like a person, rather than scampering through the yard.  Gift.  Or the way the clear blue sky shone through the golden leaves and black branches of the maple tree as we walked to the grocery store.  Gift. 

Wayne Muller writes in his book (highly recommended) Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal and Delight in Our Busy Lives, "If busyness can become a kind of violence, we do not have to stretch our perception very far to see that Sabbath time – effortless, nourishing rest – can invite a healing of this violence. When we consecrate a time to listen to the still, small voices, we remember the root of inner wisdom that makes work fruitful. We remember from where we are most deeply nourished, and see more clearly the shape and texture of the people and things before us."

Goal for this week: find five or ten minutes of Sabbath time each day.  A moment to breathe, look around, accept the gifts offered, and be grateful!  Life is good.