Sunday, October 17, 2010

Antsy Pantsy

OK, why is it that we humans love drama so much?  Even those of us who purport to hate drama in fact look for it anyway.  Case in point: I was out of work from January through August, finally found a job that I really like and look forward to each day, everything is peachy, so of course I'm thinking, "Hey, wouldn't now be a good time to move to New Zealand?"  Um, wait, what?

You see, hubbie visited N-Zed (zed is New Zealandese for Z) some years ago and wants to move there at some point.  It comes up in conversation every so often.  But, with his plays, movies, etc. and my ever-unhappy job situations there was never time to consider it for realz.  So, now that things are moving along swimmingly, we both like our jobs, his recently produced play was a hit...NOW is the time to shake it all up?!  I'm crazy.

Those of you who know me understand that I've had my share of ups and even more downs.  Struggled just to keep it all going through the storm.  Wasn't peace the goal?  Doesn't peace mean lack of stress?  Isn't moving across the world a little stressful, girl?!

Well, sure.  But now that things are going well, I find myself with the mental space and freedom to let myself dream a little bit.  I always wanted to be a National Geographic-type adventurer, seeing new places and exotic peoples.  Exploring new landscapes, climbing hills and running through dales...it is easy to forego those thoughts when you're just trying to pay the bills.  It's really easy to become myopic and see nothing but the next paycheck, leaves in the gutters, dirty laundry, family commitments, and all that jazz.  I'd like to just cut those earthly strings for a moment and be the intrepid adventurer.  I mean, LOOK at this photo!  We could have a city apartment and a cabin in the wild with a cute little goat and vineyards and an olive tree and clear blue streams everywhere and mountains and...and...and...

Well, it's OK to dream and remind ourselves of how we saw the world as children.  One big adventure, which it truly is.  As we grow up we tend to appreciate safety more, I guess.  "Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore." -- Andre Gidde (Nobel laureate) 

It takes courage to be an adventurer, and safety can't be assured once you embark on a journey.  But maybe by surrounding ourselves with people who make us feel safe, we can regain that sense of adventure.  So this week give yourself permission to dream a bit, as if you were still a child, and share what you discover.  Also, remember what George Eliot said, "It is never too late to be what you might have been."

Be it!


1 comment:

  1. I struggle with this all the time! I am happiest when pedaling, slightly uphill. I get bored when things are too comfy, so I make them uncomfy again. As I get older, I find healthier ways to do this (exploration and adventure vs. high drama) but that urge is always there.

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